Kevin's Version

Shortly after I posted my last blog entry, including the golf match for "family bragging rights", I recieved the following dissertation from Kevin... who I think sent it to the rest of the family. Here it is, in it's entirety (with some comments from me in red).

Its official. After a dramatic round of golf, Carol has taken control of the Klock Family Cup. The weather was about 84 F, light wind out of the west on Indian Canyon Golf Course in Indian Wells. Of course Carol picked the course (and paid the $100 green fees). The final outcome was in doubt through at least the second shot on the 1st hole. By the time the turn was made it was almost a matter of pride but I had left that somewhere on the front nine. I came back to shoot a respectable 42 on the back nine. However, the following top ten reasons I got beat.

1. Like Donovan McNabb, I had to be playing through injuries.

2. Carol claimed sore shoulder and teed off on the red tees. Red tees are the girly tees. Yes, Kevin, I am a girl... that's where we tee off. And I did offer to let you tee off there too. Male pride can be a terrible thing. I do have two bad rotator cuffs (very painful), and didn't want to blow them out before my two day tournament at Cathedral Canyon C.C. Sunday and Monday. If you are a man and do not hit your drive past the girly tees, you are required to drop your pants as you head towards your next shot. I played blue because the male in the twosome who joined us was playing blues and was 105 years old so I felt inclined to at least protect my manhood and play from there.

3. Playing from the red tees gave Carol a 1,500 yard advantage over the 18 holes of the course. That's right for you who know golf, she got at least 100 yard advantage per hole. My par 3 was 200 yards and her's was 98. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin... you were doing far better from 200 yards out than 98, so that wouldn't have helped. Was it the 120 yard par 3 I birdied, with a two foot putt?

4. Carol is not tied down by the traditions and analysts of golf that say boobs get in the way of long drives. She drives as far as I do which means her 100 yard advantage led to 60 yard 2nd shots on par 4's. I want her for any of my scrambles. Again for you non golfers that's a tournament where you play the best hit ball. Carol did let me use her driver which I was spanking long and straight. Kevin will be in a golf shop soon getting one of those King Cobras.

5. My dog ate it.

6. The day before I had flown from Springfield, MO to Dallas, TX to LAX. Then drove from LAX to Camarillo to Palm Springs. The drive to Palm Springs took 4.5 hours including one 12 mile stretch through LA that took an hour. That's right 12 miles in one hour and no wreck. That fancy new truck made the trip more bearable.

7. The hotel put us in a room with only a king size bed for the four of us. They then told me that it was my fault for using Priceline. After verbalizing my displeasure at the front desk and explaining that we had called in advance to secure a two bed room, we got the two bed room. It had two doubles, I almost asked for the king and a roll up instead. It felt like college, I mean shortly after getting married again.

8. Suntan lotion got in my eyes. This could be true, but I doubt it, considering the length of those drives!

9. The plant is not performing well. All we've done is beat our budget on volume and profitability and I'm fielding questions as to why is Ventura struggling. My mind was elsewhere. Yeah, his mind was elsewhere... dollar signs flashing in his eyes hoping for a big bonus for beating all those production goals. They've overshot every goal, like having a King Cobra in his hands.

10. My hair was in my eyes. If I had been in town during the week I would've been able to get my hair cut. What hair?

For now, like the Iron Chef, Carol reigns supreme. Maybe one of these days we convince another Klock to join us. Until next year, Carol is the Top Klock. Amen!